Thou Shalt Not Steal, Stan review: an Australian crime romp gem

‘I’m Robyn, I’m 17, and I’m a thief.’ Right from the start of Thou Shalt Not Steal, it’s clear that Robyn (Sherry-Lee Watson) doesn’t mince words.

It also explains why she’s doing three years in Juvenile Detention in the middle of Australia in ‘nineteen-eighty-something’. Her blunt approach will remain a constant across the series: the being in juvie part, not so much.

No sooner have we met her than she’s busted out and made a break for the local hospital to meet up with her dying grandfather Ringer (Warren H Williams). Turns out he’s also looking to escape and get back home to retrieve a mysterious cup. That’s easier said than done considering he needs both a wheelchair and oxygen to go anywhere, but Robyn is nothing if not resourceful. Especially when it comes to acquiring other people’s resources.

By the time they make it back Ringer’s provided a small but vital piece of information: the cup belongs to her dead father, only her father isn’t actually dead. Now she has a new mission, and the only clue is the words on the cup. Not being able to read, she needs someone to help with that. Fortunately, teen Gidge (Will McDonald) is just about to throw himself off a nearby cliff in a cry for help.

Watch the trailer for Thou Shalt Not Steal

Gidge’s problem is that he’s stuck in the Outback with his dodgy preacher father Robert (Noah Taylor), trying to make money from peddling home-made roo sausages at religious concerts. And when that doesn’t bring in the cash, there’s always selling grog on the side. Gidge wants to go home to his mother, and with Robyn about to hit the road (turns out the magic words were ‘Cooper Pedy’), he figures she might be his ticket out.

Unfortunately, Robyn is currently driving the taxi that used to belong to Maxine (Miranda Otto), who isn’t exactly a pimp but does seem to have a sideline in running a stable of unhappy looking sex workers. She wants it back, and she’s hot on their tail. So is Robert once he notices his offspring is no longer around to do the dirty work.

Thou Shalt Not Steal: on the move

Australia’s had a love affair with dramedy for a long time now, and Thou Shalt Not Steal is a rare and refreshing example of how to do it right. For one, this hits the ground running (literally) and rarely lets up across the eight episodes. Robyn is constantly on the move, keeping the new situations and characters coming, while the tight pacing (each episode is a little over 20 minutes long) means there’s no time to linger on the rare occasions when a scene doesn’t quite click.

Writer-director Dylan River and co-creator Tanith Glynn-Maloney are telling a tale where the humour is wry rather than gag-a-minute – it’s more down the Coen Brothers or Elmore Leonard end of crime stories. But there’s enough comedy here to take the edge off what can be some dark material: if you’re digging a grave here, you better be prepared to end up in it yourself.

Thou Shalt Not Steal: Robyn

Robyn herself starts out entertainingly abrasive. She knows what she wants and she’s not easily diverted by social niceties, let alone Gidge’s dubious charm. She’s an instigator, dragging others along in her wake. But as the series develops so does she, as her quest to uncover her past has her wondering about her future, and her place in a society that condemns her as a thief while building itself on stolen land (also: romance!).

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Otto and Taylor are the big names here and they both deliver, with Otto providing some real menace as a dangerous woman scorned while Taylor as the dissolute man of religion is both entertainingly shabby and possibly someone you’d best keep at a distance. And not just because of his habit of spending so long on the bog he comes out with pins and needles.

As crime romps go, this is up the front of the pack in what’s turning out to be a pretty impressive year for the criminal-focused side of the local television industry. As a coming-of-age story, it never overplays its hand, letting Watson’s performance do much of the heavy lifting. Thoughtful and thoroughly entertaining, and with a brace of memorable performances set against a string of dusty outback locations, it’s a gem.

Though it’s probably not a good idea to start a drinking game based on how many times Robyn spits unless you’re looking to pass out around the middle of episode two.

Thou Shalt Not Steal premieres on Stan on 17 October 2024.