The Boyfriend review: a new delightfully queer reality TV obsession

In a country where same-sex marriage is legal, why don’t we have a same-sex reality dating show yet?

That’s the question I kept asking myself while watching The Boyfriend, Netflix’s new same-sex reality dating show from Japan – a country where same-sex unions have not yet been legalised. It’s a landmark series for the rather conservative country, and a touchstone that Australia is still bafflingly behind on.

The Boyfriend, which sees nine gay and bisexual men living under one roof and running a coffee shop for a month, has a soft aesthetic and incredibly addictive format that could easily be replicated anywhere. It’s also a damn lovely show.

Boyfriend House

For anyone who watched Terrace House (Opening New Doors), the mixed-gender Japanese reality show on Netflix, the format of The Boyfriend will seem quite familiar. While the participants live and hang out together, conducting daily chores like cooking and cleaning – and slowly figuring out each others’ feelings – they are watched and commented on by five hosts (known as ‘tarento‘/’talent’ in Japanese). These hosts, who consist of Megumi, Chiaki Horan, Thelma Aoyama, Yoshimi Tokui and drag queen Durian Lollobrigada, add a much-needed pace and vibrant colour palette to a show that mainly deals in pastel greens and blues.

What’s immediately striking about the series is its laid-back, non-hurried vibe, which sets it apart from the other frenetic, neon-saturated reality TV options out there. There is no big competition, contestants are never getting eliminated – and in fact can choose to leave at any time – and the goal of leaving with a boyfriend is not enforced. Each of the men is very polite and soft-spoken, and so considerate of each other’s comfort when it comes to the ‘romantic’ premise. After all, some of them may only want to be friends.

As part of their tasks, the men must run a travelling coffee van for their entire residency, each of them taking turns to pair up with their favourite housemate to serve up delicious matcha lattes and extra-hot espressos. Before their first outing, they have to write anonymous letters to the housemate they think is most attractive/they want to know more about. Be prepared to get emotional as some of them don’t get any letters of affection at all!

The chill vibes mean that romantic feelings can bloom somewhat naturally in an environment that is still very much manufactured. Crushes come and go, feelings are misread, confessions are spilled, and ‘like’ develops into ‘love’ in a matter of weeks, not days. Don’t go into this series expecting spontaneous make-out sessions and casual sex, as it is very much not that kind of show.

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Getting to know you

Getting to know the men is a guaranteed highlight of the show. Each of them is unique in their outlook on love and friendship, and you’ll definitely have a favourite by episode three. For me, I was really invested in Gensei, the hair and makeup artist from Taiwan. Being 34 in a show where most of the participants are in their 20s means that he stands out in terms of emotional maturity and just general ‘having his shit together’-ness.

Likewise, there are also housemates that will make you wanna pull your hair out with their immaturity and inability to be in tune with their feelings (if I ever meet Shun IRL I’ll be having strong words). It’s a fascinating character study that will annoy you just enough so that the satisfying moments reach their maximum effect. And all of it is helped along by the hilarious hosts, who always manage to summarise how the viewer is feeling.

Breaking new ground

There are two major discussions that occur within the Green Room (that’s the name of the house the men live in) that stayed with me long after the credits rolled on the heartwarming finale: the first is the initial planning meeting where the men name their coffee truck. While writing their names down on the roster, 22-year-old Dai ensures to ask each of the housemates what their pronouns are. It’s such a small, simple gesture, but the fact that it’s not treated as a big deal made me even more emotional to see just how far things have come. Then, in a later episode where the men are discussing sexuality, 29-year-old Alan makes an effort to include the bisexuals among them and dispel common myths around being bisexual. It’s such a breath of fresh air to see such conversations taking place, and even more so that they’re taking place in this groundbreaking series.

Immensely watchable, incredibly progressive, and oh-so-comforting, The Boyfriend is worthy of being your new obsession.

New episodes of The Boyfriend premiere weekly on Tuesdays, on Netflix.