Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Plundering the cultural products of childhoods gone by is one of the entertainment industry’s staple strategies; what regaled one generation might just elicit the same response in the next, while evoking a nostalgic reaction in older viewers. Since its origins in a 1984 comic book series, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has never been far from sight, but it is this path it now follows. A cartoon series from 1987 to 1996 and live action films in 1990, 1991 and 1993 then beget further small and big screen outings. The second TV program inspired an animated feature in 2007. Now, as the third television iteration continues to air, a new movie franchise is born.

Retaining the basic elements of the original iterations with requisite modernisations, the latest rendering of the heroes in a half-shell treads the streets of a crime-ridden New York as the city remains under siege by a gang called the Foot Clan. Above the ground, intrepid TV news reporter April O’Neil (Megan Fox, This is 40) tries to expose their nefarious goings-on, lurking around the scenes of their attacks; however soon a group of mysterious vigilantes pique her interest as well. Stemming from the sewers, it is four genetically mutated, weapon wielding, adolescent reptiles that she seeks.

Their collective name may provide the movie’s moniker; however Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ true interest resides with humanity. The pizza-coveting Leonardo (acted by Pete Ploszek, but voiced by Bad Grandpa’s Johnny Knoxville), Donatello (Jeremy Howard, The Pretty One), Raphael (Alan Ritchson, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire), and Michelangelo (Noel Fisher, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2) and their rodent surrogate father Splinter (acted by Danny Woodburn, but voiced by Pain & Gain’s Tony Shalhoub) merely provide an interesting gimmick for April’s quests. First, she attempts to earn respect from her boss (Whoopi Goldberg, A Little Bit of Heaven) as a serious journalist, but tales of her new friends do her few favours. Then, she determines to help save the city from the scheming of her father’s former lab partner, Eric Sacks (William Fichtner, Elysium) and his mentor, Shredder (Tohoru Masamune, Sway). Her cameraman, Vernon (Will Arnett, The LEGO Movie), reluctantly tags along on both endeavours.

The script, first written by Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec (Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol) and then reworked by Evan Daugherty (Divergent), misses few opportunities to reframe the thin narrative to heighten the prominence of its heroine, an unneeded, coincidence-riddled backstory included. As a result, when the titular turtles are seen on screen, they are relegated to either wise cracking or getting caught up in the bloated mess of action the film’s third act becomes. Apart from traits derived from the theme song from the original TV series – leader, machine wiz, cool but crude, party dude – they boast only the scantest traces of character or interest. Encompassing Splinter as well, stunt casting of two of the voices with famous names also does little to invest any sense of personality.

A rote remake that doesn’t overtly butcher its predecessors is seemingly what director Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath of the Titans) and producer Michael Bay (Transformers: Age of Extinction) were after, and while they achieve that aim, they do so without any sense of fun or energy. Countless times now, Bay has tried to prove that explosions, unappealing scenes of violence and extended carnage are reason enough for a film to exist, with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles again firmly adhering to his preferred generic formula, complete with out-of-place pop culture references. Retaining the visual noise of his deplorable Battle Los Angeles, Liebesman’s flourishes manifest solely in lens flares and Dutch tilts, both of which overstay their welcome. Turtle power seems a long forgotten concept; here, it is the narratively, emotionally and aesthetically bland appropriation of a familiar commodity that gains potency.