White Lotus Season 3: what time’s check-out?

Before you read this White Lotus Season 3 review, fair warning that there are spoilers ahead for Seasons 1 & 2.

Jennifer Coolidge is life. Working her perfectly off-kilter humour through a procession of TV guest spots before breaking through with gross-out comedy American Pie, she’s a force of abundantly meme-able brilliance.

So the smartest thing The White Lotus creator Mike White did was to check her into the first season of his 2021 smash hit. Settling into the Maui luxury resort chain as Tanya McQuoid, her character was a self-centred but eternally entertaining heiress. Impossibly raising the hopes of Natasha Rothwell’s trusting spa guru Belinda, Tanya promised her the world, only to cruelly dash their plan to set up a wellness retreat on the rocks when dodgy dude Greg (Jon Gries) offered her bedroom attention.

Watch The White Lotus Season 3 trailer.

Still, Belinda fared better than Aussie Murray Bartlett’s collateral-damage-of-a-resort-manager, Armond, whose pineapple-twist ending marked the chaotic wash-up of Season 1. Unbothered by bodies in her wake, Tanya swanned on in pink silk scarves to the hotel’s Sicilian outpost.

If that opening gambit was more tightly focused on the clash between the luxury chain’s constantly harangued staff and their cashed-up abusers, then the second chapter mostly skipped over the clock-on crew in favour of upping the ante re awful guests. The impeccable dysfunction of double-dating couples Daphne and Cameron (Meghann Fahy and Theo James) and frenemies Harper and Ethan (Aubrey Plaza and Will Sharpe) kept it afloat.

But The White Lotus was always about Tanya. Now married to obvious scammer Greg, happy ever after was not to be (surprise). But pretty much everyone watching at home was gobsmacked when Tanya met her cruel fate. In the end, it wasn’t ‘these gays’ that murdered our dearly beloved spa-botherer, but rather a hull to the face after overestimating her boat disembarkation skills.

The shock of those frantic final moments left a huge question mark hanging over White’s 1%-but-fully-awful-folks-on-holiday mystery show: can it carry on without her?

White Lotus Season 3: shockwave

When word broke that Rothwell would step into Coolidge’s waterlogged shoes, the shockwave subsided a little. Given Belinda had been the perfect working-class counterweight to Tanya’s oblivious privilege, would White swing the pendulum back in favour of balance between the haves and the have-to-do-what-they-says?

Having seen six of White Lotus Season 3’s eight luxurious Thai resort-set episodes, the answer is not really. Leaning into Season 2’s vibe, but to lesser effect, frustratingly charismatic Rothwell is mostly left spinning her wheels.

Sure, there’s a sweet romance brewing between her and Dom Hetrakul’s dashing spa co-worker Pornchai, but this subplot’s such a slow burn, then it’s cockblocked by the too-late addition of Belinda’s son (Nicholas Duvernay), teased in the yet another floating body cold open.

An even coyer tiptoe between haplessly besotted security guard Gaitok (Tayme Thapthimthong), who owes Chekov some royalties on the gun-handling front, and fellow hotel worker Mook (Lalisa Manobal) also flounders. Arnas Fedaravicius’ Russian masseur Valentin is a misfire.

And while New Zealand comedian Morgana O’Reilly is promising, she’s given nowhere near enough time to inject much-needed spike via her obsessive digital detox pushing.

It’s not until halfway through the run that Belinda gets some more meat to chew on via a guest that pretty much anyone paying attention would expect to show up – however we’re not allowed to name him here.

So with the staff stalling, do the guests pick up the slack?

White Lotus Season 3: satire

With Belinda largely benched for half the season, it’s left to the guests to distract from Coolidge’s departure.

Parker Posey can always be relied upon to ramp up the camp with off-the-wall line readings. But even this consummate pro plays it a little too broad here, making a meal of her southern drawl-emitting, pill-popping matriarch Victoria.

Jason Isaac, as her many-furtive-phone-calls businessman husband (ten aplenty in this show), pales in comparison. And while the dynamic between their kids, Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger), little bro Lochlan (Sam Nivola) and more sensible sis Piper (Sarah Catherine Hook) would keep Freud in good suits, they don’t feel overly fresh on this show’s Cluedo board.

Way too much time is wasted on another tired trio in backstabbing buddies: Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan), too vaguely established as an it and a bit actor, and her even less well-defined mates Laurie (Carrie Coon) and Kate (Leslie Bibb), ensuring each of the hour-too-long episodes sags when they slag one another.

The way-off pacing is further hampered by another crime against great acting, relegating the magnificent Walton Goggins to the surly, say-almost-nothing role of Rick, who is, you guessed it, another nefarious dealings-mumbled-into-phones type.

By the time his story switches scenery, further drawing in Thai stage star Patravadi Mejudhon’s resort co-owner Sritala (sorely underused), the stakes are sinking in the resort’s white sands.

Sex Education alum Aimee Lou Wood is the only standout guest this year, working her gift for balancing goofy and wise as Rick’s besotted girlfriend Chelsea, though it stretches credibility to breaking point that she’d put up with his shit. Her falling in with Charlotte Le Bon’s wild-at-heart model offers some respite, but the latter’s also saddled with the man we cannot name, as the show plods sluggishly towards a party this aggressively possessive figure throws.

Fast running out of rich people’s problems to satirise, an unfocused White is losing focus. It’s not overly helpful that he continues to write and direct all episodes without involving local talent, in a metatextual self-own for the show’s supposed themes.

With only two episodes to go and no real reason to stick around, you might consider checking out early.

The White Lotus Season 3 premieres on Binge on 17 February 2025.

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