Gladiator II review: I’m not NOT entertained

Ridley Scott’s Gladiator (2000) certainly made its mark on the world of film, giving us ‘Are you not entertained?’ and making Russell Crowe a household name. Without it, we wouldn’t have the visual language that has served films like The Hunger Games, sword-and-sandal epics like 300, and even Game of Thrones. Now in a post Hunger-Games world, Scott returns to Rome to see if we still have the appetite for arena-based blood sports.

With Rusty’s Maximus Decimus Meridius long dead, it’s time for Paul Mescal (All Of Us Strangers, Aftersun) to take on the mantel and stab some dudes for the glory of Rome. Will he achieve the dream of Rome he so longs for, or die in a pool of blood and guts? And, more importantly: will we be entertained?

Meanwhile, back in the empire

Mescal plays Lucius, a hardened warrior whose wife is fridged by the Roman army in the the first ten minutes of the film. General Marcus Acacius (played by Pedro Pascal) claims the city for Rome and captures Lucius and his comrades. Arriving in Rome as a slave and forced to fight in the Coliseum, Lucius’ piercing blue eyes have everyone wondering just who he really is – before he picks up some dirt to coat his hands and starts monologuing at the other gladiators in his best Russell Crowe impression. Ok, you really didn’t have to make it that obvious.

Rounding out the cast are Joseph Quinn (Stranger Things), Fred Hechinger (The White Lotus) as the insufferable twin emperors Geta and Caracalla, Denzel Washington as Lucius’ power-hungry mentor Macrinus, and Connie Nielsen returning as Lucilla Aurelius, who is now married to Pascal’s Acacius.

As far as these supports go, Pascal is supremely under-utilised, playing a morally grey character whose doom you can see coming from a mile away. Similarly, Nielsen flails a the only significant woman in the cast, bogged down by exposition dialogue that only serves to futher Lucius’ story. Quinn and Hechinger are aptly snivelling and bratty but often get outdone by their simian co-star, Dondas.

Denzel Washington, at least, is having the time of his life, swishing about in various draped cloth as the scheming Macrinus, and savouring his delivery of the best lines in the film. Good for him.

Passing on the sword, filling out the sandals

You’ll quickly see, like I did, that Gladiator II is a standard legacy sequel – a ‘safe’ move from Hollywood execs that guarantees moula rolling in, at the expense of a memorable film. Like other sequels that came before it (see: all of Star Wars ), too much focus is placed on genetic destiny – this idea that your bloodline determines who you are, and that ordinary people aren’t worth centering a narrative on. Lucius has a lot to live up to, and some big armour to carry (literally), and Mescal’s performance suffers for it.

Enough of the film works to make it worthy of the ticket price. Sure, most of what works is just Denzel doing his thing, but the lavish costume design and set pieces, coupled with some impressive CG, make it visually appealing, and the fight sequences are all good fun – at least until they bring out the sharks (sidenote: I believe having multiple male sharks in one tank/arena would make them fight each other, and not the boats encroaching into their territory).

Mescal is good, but not great. I don’t think that’s on him, though. He gives a lot of monologues to his fellow fighters that are not really earned, and once his true heritage is revealed, his character becomes less interesting by the minute. Obviously he trained hard for the role, and it absolutely pays off in the fight scenes. But after his nuanced performance in Aftersun, it’s hard to see him as a Hollywood action hero.

There is also too much reliance on nostalgia for the original Gladiator. We are not just reminded of Maximus’ presence, but forced to watch at least five flashbacks that are simply inserts of Rusty’s scenes from the 2000 film. I found it unnecessary and – definitely by the fifth one – a little bit insulting, especially when the film begins with an animated montage of scenes from Gladiator.

Fans of the original will find enough here to enjoy, but there’s also plenty to nitpick at. I had fun. And speaking of picking nits: all hail Dondas, the monkey emperor of Rome!

Gladiator II is in Australian cinemas from 14 November.

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