Just months after his last feature, To Rome with Love, graced Australian cinemas, Woody Allen returns with another European jaunt, but the short spell between releases is not the result of the prolific writer/director’s work ethic; it’s been three years since Allen’s You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger debuted at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival.
While the film may owe its local airing to the latest wave of affection for the American writer/director – fuelled by Midnight in Paris’ lingering charms; Woody Allen: A Documentary’s overarching insights; and Paris-Manhattan’s frothy homage – You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger does little to cultivate goodwill of its own. The fourth of Allen’s features set in London (after 2005’s Match Point, 2006’s Scoop and 2007’s Cassandra’s Dream) and his 42nd feature film as director, it insipidly adheres to the auteur’s standard recipe: assemble an ensemble cast, immerse them in cultivated quirkiness, and let simmer until everything turns to farce.
Recent divorcees Alfie (Anthony Hopkins, Hitchcock) and Helena (Gemma Jones, Hysteria) provide the catalyst for the craziness that ensues, their parting starting a chain reaction of events. Attempting to reclaim his youth, Alfie pursues a younger woman (Lucy Punch, Bad Teacher); adrift without her spouse of four decades, Helena seeks solace from a psychic (Pauline Collins, Quartet). Their daughter Sally (Naomi Watts, The Impossible) and her struggling writer husband Roy (Josh Brolin, Gangster Squad), laden with marital woes of their own, become caught up in the ensuing tumult.
All of the expected elements furnish You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, from the acerbic dialogue, to the leisurely pace, to the eclectic use of music and narration. The comedy of errors that evolves is typical of Allen’s work, and the concentric circles of personal and professional disharmony are another of his staples. And yet, the film feels forced and flat, courtesy of an average script and uninspired direction. Missing in this paint-by-numbers effort is the director’s warmth, wit, and winning way of making the ridiculousness of ordinary relationships amusing yet relatable.
His cast make the most of the material, some succeeding more than others. Hopkins relishes his character’s new lease on life, and Jones is suitably skittish as a woman clinging to faith as the last remnant of normality; alas, Watts and Brolin are wasted in one-note roles, as are their respective dalliances with Antonio Banderas (Ruby Sparks) and Freida Pinto (Trishna). For much of the feature, each is left to explain the plot, rather than add weight to their predicament. The eventual resolution of their efforts proves as hollow as it is awkward; so too, does the passable but pedestrian film.
Rating: 2 ½ stars out of 5
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
Director: Woody Allen
USA, 2010, 98 min
In cinemas January 17
Distributor: Umbrella
Rated M
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